Struck Down and Rising Back Up
Reading Time: 5 minutesOnce I dreamed that I had to learn to wrap a boa constrictor around my neck in a controlled way without panicking or provoking it. I had to avoid being suffocated by this slimy seven feet of pure terror while still calmly permitting it to wrap its whole body around me. Awaking from the nightmare, I understood the metaphor immediately. My chronic pain syndrome is my boa constrictor. It’s been my living nightmare for about eight years. Every day I’ve played by the boa constrictor’s rules: Do not provoke it or it will squeeze the life out of me. The dance between me and this snake has been a delicate one; it’s challenged every ounce of patience and courage I can muster. Some providers have recommended playing dead, while others have suggested beating it, shocking it with electricity, poisoning it with dangerous medications . . . you get the point. Refusing to give up on pain relief, I tried hundreds of pain treatments and procedures. Yet the snake was only provoked and continued to thrive. I became increasingly trapped. Over the past eight years of living with chronic pain, I kept trying new and different treatments and procedures, thinking that if I just searched far and wide enough, I would eventually pick the right lock and find my cure. During just the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, for example, I endured: a five-day lidocaine infusion in Philadelphia, exosome injections in New York, a gabapentin course (that made me gain eight pounds in a week), 13 weeks of a specialized pain rehab clinic in Arkansas, specialized low-level laser therapy in Toronto, three weeks of intermittent steroids infusions, several IVIG infusions prescribed by a doctor in Boston, and more. I put my all into each of these treatments and forced myself to be hopeful (which is important, because pessimism and hopelessness can actually counteract and defeat chemical and therapeutic effects of treatment). Yet none of them provided any relief. Some of them made me worse. When I’m forced to accept that a treatment or procedure hasn’t worked, I crumple under the weight of the crushing disappointment. I have to accept the loss and the terrible letdown: I won’t be getting my cure here. And the prospect of relief feels even more elusive. I dread breaking the news to my friends and family that yet another treatment failed and imagine them thinking, “How is it possible that nothing helps her?” Shame and embarrassment take over, even if I don’t wholeheartedly believe it’s my fault. It bothers me that even though nothing has worked before, my friends and family still seem surprised that yet another treatment didn’t help me. And while I should be the last one to be surprised that the latest treatment didn’t work, a part of me always goes into a new treatment thinking that it could finally been my breakthrough! It stings terribly to accept that it’s not. Every time a treatment or procedure fails restarts something akin to a mourning process. I have to mourn the loss of another option crossed off my list. Each failure means one fewer option that could bring back my pain free self and turn my life around. The crushing weight of another treatment failed is then compounded by all of the letdowns that came before it. My mind spirals back to the past several years of failed attempts and I’m inconsolable for a period of a few days to a few weeks while I’m processing it all. This is particularly challenging when my body is also fighting side effects from the most recent treatment and struggling to return to its pre-treatment condition. My emotional state is overwhelmed by hopelessness, anger, a sense of unfairness, and fear for the future. The physical acts of having to pack my bags, say goodbye to the medical team treating me, pay my sometimes exorbitant bills that health insurance often won’t cover, and leave empty-handed leave a bitter taste in my mouth. Each subsequent defeat feels harder and harder to swallow. — During times like these, I try to summon the inner strength and determination I found within myself as a child and teenager playing on the national junior tennis and squash circuits. One time when I was 11, I lost the first game of a first-round squash match (the winner must win the best out of five games). During the 90 second break between games, my momager (i.e., mom-manager) was spitting strategy at me while I guzzled Gatorade that quickly turned my upper lip red. I stared past her, not listening to anything she said, until I finally said matter-of-factly: “Give me a minute to mourn the last game and then I’ll move on.” She looked at her 11-year-old, stunned into silence. I took a minute to myself, let go of the last game, collected my thoughts, and went on to win the next three games to win the match. Mourning was a key step to my success that day and has been ever since. After being struck down by each failed treatment or procedure, I’ve mourned for a time before rising up again. Just like that squash match when I was 11, I’ve understood that my match against pain isn’t over. — I won’t give up on having a better life, and now I’m pursuing a new strategy: neither playing dead nor trying to kill the snake. Instead, and learning to coexist with it and calm it until it’s ready to release its grip on me. I’ve immersed myself in pain neuroscience education, pain psychology, and pain coaching that have opened my eyes to how chronic pain affects the brain and the central nervous system and how we can best combat the process. Research tells us that when you exist in a sustained period of chronic pain, the brain actually changes. It forms a difficult to break pain cycle and continues to perpetuate pain even in the absence of tissue damage.
Things I Learned by Accident & Contagious Courage
Reading Time: 5 minutesEverything I know about pain I learned by accident. In 2005, 14 miles from Wisdom Montana, I feel asleep at the wheel, over corrected and rolled violently down the barrow pit. Sitting in the wreckage of my car partially paralyzed from the neck down and gradually suffocating from two punctured lungs might seem like an unlikely way to get an education, but that’s how it was for me…. My accident landed me in the ICU in Butte with a broken neck, fighting for my life. After I had been taken off of the ventilator, I was finally able to ask one of my neurosurgeons a question that had been weighing on my heart. “What’s my prognosis doctor?” He flipped through my chart and said, “Well, you’ll NEVER be normal!” That answer, while supremely accurate, was devastating. The next day, his partner, the neurosurgeon who actually did my surgery came in and I asked him the same question. His answer was different. With bold confidence he smiled and looked me in the eye as he said, “You’re going to walk again.” At that moment I had a choice: I could be psychologically paralyzed by the discouraging voice, “You’ll never be normal,” or I could embrace the courage and hope of the second voice. Both statements were true, but the decision was mine. Refusing to believe the discouraging voice I tackled the next two years of rehab and recovery with a vengeance. I relearned to sit up in a chair, to stand, to walk, to regain movement, and write my name. But even as I recovered my physical function, burning nerve pain from my neck down gradually took over my life. The pain brought back that distant voice from the past, “You’ll never be normal!” Pain has a way of getting our attention, and it got my attention fully! I measured it on a scale of 1-10, I fought for a solution, an answer, a cure. But the more I focused on my pain, the worse it got. Pain expert, Dr. Michael Moskowitz in his book, “Neuroplasticity: Changing the Brain in Pain” uses this graphic to illustrate the regions of the brain that experience pain. When a person experiences acute pain, these key regions of the brain are activated. But as acute pain is experienced and focused upon it becomes memorized, more brain cells are recruited to the experience and pain amplifies and takes on a life of its own. Like a constant screaming siren that doesn’t go off, chronic pain is LOUD, and hard to ignore. An old neurological adage says, “What fires together wires together.” What we focus on, we empower and enlarge. Bit by bit, day by day, the brain builds connections that define what we know, and how we feel. In my experience, my brain defined my pain and it was excruciating. I’m not saying it’s all in my head, my pain is real, it has a real cause; a fluid filled cyst called a syrinx at the level of my injury. But the fact is that pain is an experience of the brain. I discovered this by learning about phantom limb pain. How do you explain pain that is experienced in a limb that’s not even there? Many answers have been offered, but today’s best science has found that while the limb may be missing, the portion of the brain dedicated to that limb still exists, and if the brain says the missing limb hurts, then it hurts! Dr Ramachandran developed a mirror box that tricked the brain into thinking the missing limb is actually there, complete, healthy and whole. This is me using the mirror box. When I see my paralyzed hand as if it is working, my pain goes away. My accidental discovery of this fact led me to a powerful realization: How I see myself could completely transform my experience of pain. Seeing myself as whole and complete I could unlearn pain by focusing not on what is wrong, but on what is right. This was my first step in taking courage by the hand and walking into a whole new life. But what can you focus on when you have burning nerve pain from the neck down? You focus on the neck up. You focus on what is good, what works, and what is going right. And so that’s what I did. Every time the pain started to scream, I deliberately turned my focus toward healthy tissue, and healthy thoughts, the positive, not the negative. And it worked. My overall experience of pain decreased, I felt like I was getting my life back. I started doing the things my doctor told me would help me manage my pain; exercise, relaxation, sleep, and began cutting back my pain medications. I was beginning to find my new normal. But a woman I had met at a pain clinic wasn’t doing as well. She couldn’t see past the pain, she needed someone to walk beside her, to do for her what Dr. Sorini did for me, to say to her “You’ll walk again.” So, I became her coach and she got her life back too. I call this “Contagious Courage,” the ability to pass on my victory over pain to someone else. To walk alongside and let them borrow my courage until they have some of their own. I become their mirror box. To give them hope, sharing the words they need to hear to see themselves whole and complete. My favorite coaching question is, “What went well this week?” At first this really throws them off! They expect the opposite question, “So what’s wrong,” or “How’s your pain?” Most of them stammer as they try to turn their brain around and process the question. It’s as if I’m asking them to make a giant U-Turn. And I am. There are 116 million people in the United
The Experience of Pain & Choosing Our Words Wisely
Reading Time: 4 minutesExpect to learn the following throughout this article: How words can change our pain experience Why overly focusing on pain can create more of it How to take one step towards relief from chronic pain One of the most common complaints people seek health care for is pain. Now is the time to begin to rethink pain so that we can redefine our lives and the way we live them. According to the International Association For The Study Of Pain1, Pain is “An unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with, or resembling that associated with, actual or potential tissue damage.” Experiencing Pain & Words Do you remember the old saying “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you”? Well someone very clever also wrote,”Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you, well unless you believe them, then they can destroy you.” This sums up why and how words5 can be intimately connected with our experience of chronic pain. In a research article published in the journal of Pain in 2009, titled “Do words hurt? Brain activation during the processing of pain-related words6,” the researchers explored how words directly contribute and change our experience of pain. These researchers were very clever because they measured this by using fMRI imaging which measures the amount of neuronal activity within regions of the brain associated with pain processing such as the dorsal ACC (dACC), left anterior IC, bilateral inferior frontal gyrus, & dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. Why This Study Matters in Chronic Pain The scientists involved placed subjects in two distinct groups and subjected the study participants to 3 types of pain-related words: neutral, negative affective, and positive affective words. These three categories of words were chosen because of the known link between emotions and pain processing7. The subjects were placed in two main categories: The imagination group The distraction group Imagination group: This group was presented with 1 of the 3 types of words on a screen (neutral, positive, and negative), and were instructed to imagine an experience or situation that may involve the word displayed on the screen in front of them. For example, if they saw the word “destruction” they would imagine a building collapsing, or if the word happiness appeared, they may recall an experience in their life that brought them immense joy. The Distraction group: This group was presented with a specific task to perform, such as counting back from 10, and throughout the performance of this task, words such as destruction and happiness were flashed in the background. What Researchers Found Can Help You with Chronic Pain Remember the fMRI tool that measures brain activity during specific tasks we mentioned earlier? Well, when the researchers examined the brain activity of the two groups, the regions of the brain well-known to be involved with processing pain had higher levels of activation in the imagination group compared to the distraction group. As we promised in the outline of this article, this is something that we can harness in our every day lives in order to modulate and change our experience of pain. If we focus 100% of our energy, life, and effort on “fighting” the pain, these regions of the brain can become highly neuronaly active and produce more pain as a result. If you have experienced persistent pain such as fibromyalgia, chronic lower back pain, or persistent facial pain8, you know this all too well…… How many times has your medical provider asked you about your pain level from a 0-10 scale? This is an example of being in the “imagination” group because we can become hyper-focused on pain, and in turn experience more of it. Hyperfocusing on pain can lead to destructive habits and rapidly decrease our quality of life. Creating some type of “distraction” group within our own lives can be very helpful throughout the journey of chronic pain. Some examples of this include learning a new skill, taking up a breathing practice, reaching out to old friends, or learning a new physical movement. This does not mean we are ignoring our pain, it simply means that we are prioritizing what we know about science and the brain to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. References Definition of pain: https://www.iasp-pain.org/publications/iasp-news/iasp-announces-revised-definition-of-pain/ Pain & The Neuromatrix https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11780656/ Neurosignature https://icog.group.shef.ac.uk/the-frustrating-family-of-pain/ Bioplasticity https://www.iasp-pain.org/publications/relief-news/article/time-to-embrace-bioplasticity/ Words Hurt https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6749494/ Do Words Hurt? https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19846255/#:~:text=When%20subjects%20were%20instructed%20to,words%20compared%20to%20other%20words. Link between emotions and pain processing https://www.hss.edu/conditions_emotional-impact-pain-experience.asp Persistent Facial Pain https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8192736/#:~:text=Persistent%20idiopathic%20facial%20pain%20(PIFP,teeth%2C%20without%20any%20structural%20correlate.
My Ten Year Pain Anniversary
Reading Time: 5 minutesDuring my first few years of pain and unsuccessful treatment, doctors tried to give me hope by telling me about people who had 10 or more years of pain before finding relief. In my early twenties, 10 years of pain was impossible to imagine. Living even a few more months in the type of pain that I was experiencing seemed unfathomable, let alone 10 years. Yet, 10 years later, I am still in pain. And I am still here. The 10th anniversary of my second head injury – after which pain invaded my life – is filled with grief for what I have gone through and a sense of loss of what my life might have been like had I not been in the wrong place at the wrong time. This is not a happy anniversary, yet I’m certainly proud of my perseverance and strength. I hope that my story might inspire others who are suffering to keep going as well. What happened? 10 years ago, I went to Israel to compete as a member of Team USA’s women’s tennis team at the 2013 World Maccabiah Games. Held once every four years, this international event draws world-class Jewish athletes from over 60 nations to compete in over 40 sports. It had been my dream to compete in this event since I was a little girl. You see, my late grandfather – who I adored – dreamed of competing in the Maccabiah nearly 75 years earlier. The rise of the Nazi regime derailed those plans and his entire life as a Jewish teenager living in Hamburg, Germany. He fled to New York by boat in 1939. His day-to-day life became learning English, struggling financially, and assimilating to an entirely new way of life. His own Maccabiah dream was never realized. At 90 years old, he bought a ticket to Israel and watched his 20-year-old granddaughter compete at one of the most beautiful tennis facilities in the world, built on the hills of Jerusalem. Unfortunately, I had a tough draw, and after first round wins in the women’s singles event, women’s doubles event, and mixed doubles event, I (and my doubles partners) faced the #1 seed in all three draws. We lost. I was knocked out of the competition. Without competition on the schedule, I spent the next day at the hotel pool, making friends with athletes from all over the world. Engrossed in a conversation with an Australian soccer player, I (along with likely 50 others at the pool) ignored the volleyball being kicked from one end of the large pool to the other. If I had any conscious thought about the volleyball, it was probably something like: These are world-class athletes with good ball control. What are the chances that anyone, let alone me, gets hurt? Despite the improbability, I was the one who got hurt. The kicked volleyball crashed into the left side of my head causing a whiplash effect, damage to the left side of my neck, and a major concussion that was compounded by another head injury that I had sustained only 13 months prior. The aftermath I flew home to Philadelphia. The concussion symptoms were severe, much more so than with the first incident. I quit my summer job and spent hours lying in a dark room, willing a friend to call me since having conversations was one of the only things I could do. My vision and disorientation were to the point that I couldn’t take walks safely since I could not judge the speed of cars accurately. Television, texting, and reading were discouraged. I was sensitive to light and sound. I slept unnaturally deep sleeps for 14 hours a night. My mother took care of me. When the symptoms didn’t resolve but rather morphed into insomnia, mood swings, and anxiety, I saw a doctor who diagnosed me with Post-Concussive Syndrome. I was put on a specific exercise protocol and did see improvement over the coming months. But after the concussion symptoms seemed to resolve, pain arrived as a very unwelcome visitor. First in my neck, then quickly thereafter to my lower back. Shoulder pain followed, as well as eventually pain in multiple other parts of my body. Writing today, I easily have ten different symptoms bothering me at a given moment. Some days, it is worse than others, but regardless of the day, I try not to let it win. How I manage As co-founder and CEO of Override, a comprehensive, virtual treatment program for chronic pain, I am very transparent about still being in pain. Yet, people seem to believe what they want to believe. When I give presentations (to investors, customers, patients), my audience sees a confident, ambitious, and put-together woman. They often conclude that I have overcome my pain and say, “I’m sorry for what you went through,” despite my pain experience being described in the present tense. Others do hear me say that I’m still in pain, and instead ask, “How do you manage your pain?” What they really mean is: “You seem to have your pain figured out, so tell us how you do it.” I always swallow hard and struggle with this question. I’m not sure that anyone ever gets used to being in pain, especially when it’s unpredictable and ever-changing. There have been periods of my life where pain has beaten me. I’m not cavalier enough to say it won’t ever beat me again. Today, not letting pain consume me on a day-to-day basis takes hard work and commitment. For me, it means: ● Finding purpose and meaning – in my work, my relationships, and the future I hope to build; ● Regular exercise, stretching, and physical therapy exercises – movement is the best medicine ● Breathing – it’s easy to forget to breathe with chronic pain, and deep breathing calms the
What’s Your Kindness Quotient (KQ)?
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe Importance of kindness quotient (KQ) in challenging times We’ve had a very tough last few years. COVID-19 has claimed over 6 million lives worldwide. Hamas attacks on Israel have horrified the world. Mass shootings have turned schools into war zones. Climate change has exposed itself to be even more worrisome than we feared. The list continues. The challenge to develop a COVID-19 vaccine tested our scientific community’s intellectual intelligence (IQ), and many have adapted to new ways of living and working during the pandemic in part due to their emotional intelligence (EQ). But what about a person’s kindness quotient (KQ)? A KQ is how a person responds to others experiencing difficulty and suffering. We believe that this is the time that our KQ matters most. How do you measure your KQ? There is a quick five question test or a longer more detailed test here. Here are the five questions: 1. If you saw a person at work dealing with a personal illness or a family situation, would you offer to help? 2. If someone was on the street and needed food or shelter, would you offer to help? 3. If you know of someone who is socially isolated, would you reach out to them? 4. Do you spend any time volunteering or helping others in your community? 5. Do you perform random acts of kindness? If you answered “yes” more than 4 or 5 times, you have a high KQ. If you answered “yes” 2 or less times, you have a low KQ. When I think of KQ, I also think about all of the medical providers and behavioral health specialists whose kindness and empathy towards their patients vary significantly. Every person with chronic pain has one or maybe several stories of leaving an appointment in tears – dejected and beaten down – after being told something thoughtless and fear-inducing. Examples include providers saying things like, “The pain is all in your head,” “You’ve already tried everything,” “You’re out of options,” “You’re just going to have to live like this,” and “I don’t have anything that can help you.” Override’s approach to patient care This is why Override is picking our interdisciplinary team members (physicians, psychologists, physical therapists, coaches, and more) so carefully. We are not only looking for practitioners with excellent training, experience, and skills, but we are also looking for practitioners that understand human suffering and the all-encompassing impact of living with persistent pain. In other words, we’re exclusively recruiting people with high KQs. Because we know from experience – both our own and our patients’ – that kindness matters.
Pain Recovery Highs & Lows
Reading Time: 2 minutesIn The Messy Middle, Scott Belsky writes: “We love talking about starts and finishes, even though the middle stretch is the most important and often the most ignored and misunderstood. We don’t talk about the middle because we’re not proud of the turbulence of our own making and the actions we took out of despair. (…) Every advance reveals a new shortcoming. Your job is to endure the lows and optimize the highs to achieve a positive slope within the jaggedness of the messy middle — so that, on average, every low is less low than the one before it, and every subsequent high is a little higher.” The quotation can be applied to so many different areas in life – from building a startup to training for a marathon. We at Override saw this chart and not only thought about building Override but also about pain recovery. What is pain recovery? While it’s different for everyone, most people don’t see immediate and steady improvement when they start embarking on a pain recovery journey. Most people don’t just turn the corner, get the hang of it, and then continually improve until they are completely in remission from chronic pain. We wish it were that easy. Sometimes it may feel like you’re really getting the hang of applying pain science principles, feeling and moving better, and taking control of your own condition without outside help from medications or interventions, but then you experience a pain flare! Maybe even a really bad one. And it can feel like you are right back at square 1. You ask yourself and your coach, “Have I made any progress at all?” And you think, “I’m just as bad as ever. This isn’t working for me.” It may even be tempting to give up. The ups and downs can be exhausting and emotional. Especially the downs. And it’s a lot easier to notice the downs than the ups! It’s difficult to recognize and appreciate the absence of discomfort or a pain sensation. It’s far easier to notice when pain is sounding the alarm in your brain and trying to force every ounce of you to focus your attention on the pain. Pain recovery is not linear Recovery from chronic pain is neither a quick nor an easy process. It requires a lot of determination to make the real functional and behavioral changes needed to combat the learned neural circuits of living in a sustained period of chronic pain and forming new ones. Pain recovery is not a linear process. So how do we focus on the ups – even the slight and minor victories? Of pain being just a little less loud… Of being able to move just a little bit more than last week … Of doing something you enjoy and actually being able to enjoy it…? Retraining the brain to treat chronic pain That’s one of the challenges in both life and in pain recovery. As we are retraining pain – learning how to “unlearn” the pain we’ve gotten used to being in – we have to create new neural pathways in the brain that focus on the more neutral sensations, the more positive moments in life, and even the smallest victories we experience. Sometimes it may feel like you’re not improving or progressing, and that’s heart wrenching. But in reality, your pain recovery journey may just look more like the picture above.
My Favorite Tools for Sleeping Through Chronic Pain
Reading Time: 3 minutesGetting adequate sleep can be one of the greatest challenges for people with chronic pain. Sleeping well is now one of my best tools for managing my pain. Here are 5 of my favorite tools for making sure I rest well at night: Deep Breathing Practice deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth. Focusing on your breath can help relax your body and reduce tension. This one takes some practice, but once you have it mastered, you have a free pain tool you can take anywhere, including to bed. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Progressive Muscle Relaxation involves tensing and then releasing each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head. This can help you become more aware of muscle tension and relieve it. Many people do it before going to bed. I personally find it more helpful to do an hour or so before bed, starting the relaxation process in my body as I prepare for restful sleep. Guided Imagery: Close your eyes and imagine a peaceful, calming place. Visualize yourself there, paying attention to the sensory details. Really try to keep your mind focused on what you are visualizing. This can distract your mind from pain and induce relaxation. I like to do gentle diaphragmatic breathing as I go to a peaceful place in my mind. For me, this may be the Montana countryside where I spent so many years. Studies show that guided imagery is a great way to reduce pain, depression, and stress – which in turn can induce sleep. Meditation: Mindfulness meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and sensations without judgment. It may reduce stress and improve your ability to cope with pain. I have several memorized quotes I like to meditate on as I drift off to sleep. One of my favorites is Psalm 23, although there are plenty of non-religious quotes you can borrow from, too. Or you can make your own and repeat it to yourself. Override members get access to the Override app, which includes a whole library of meditations that are designed to help you reduce stress. Exercise: Exercise is my best (and only) sleep medication. I like to do mine first thing in the morning and get fresh air while I do it (hiking is my favorite). Getting fresh air and sunlight first thing in the morning also helps stimulate earlier melatonin release and stabilize circadian rhythms. Medical advice suggests that exercising at least four hours before bedtime is enough time to allow core body temperature to cool and for you to get ready for sleep. Warm Baths or Cold Showers: Soaking in a warm bath can loosen tense muscles and promote relaxation. Taking a cold shower can provide relief for different reasons. This Sleep Foundation article quotes a study contrasting hot and cold showers before bed. I know most of us would rather have a hot shower, but there are several benefits of taking a cold shower an hour or so before bed, such as, “experience[ing] a drop in core body temperature, fewer nighttime arousals, and a greater proportion of deep sleep within the first three hours of sleep.” A cold shower can also help reduce muscle stiffness, which may contribute to better sleep by reducing discomfort. Reducing Blue Light Before Bed: You probably have heard this one before. The blue light coming from our phones, televisions, and computers mess with our circadian rhythms. The constant scrolling – and often disturbing things we find when we scroll – also succeed in revving us up rather than calming us down before bed. Experts suggest putting away technology at least one hour before bed. I try to do this, too. Conclusion Finding just the right routine for sleep has been one of the best investments of my time, because when my brain is rested, I have a much easier time managing my pain. And if you want help implementing these tools or finding the right mix for you, Override can help you. You can learn more about how Override can help you by scheduling a free consultation today.
Boosting Confidence and Cultivating Growth through Recognizing Your Contributions
Reading Time: 3 minutesIn the pursuit of personal development and self-improvement, the concept of practicing gratitude has gained significant attention. Gratitude journals, mindfulness practices, and thankfulness exercises have become popular tools to enhance overall well-being. However, a subtle yet profound shift in perspective suggests that instead of focusing solely on gratitude, acknowledging and recording our contributions can be a more potent catalyst for building confidence and fostering personal growth. Sheryl Sandberg’s Experiment Sheryl Sandberg, the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook, faced a period of self-doubt and low confidence following her husband’s sudden death. In an effort to help her recover, psychologist Adam Grant suggested a unique approach – rather than practicing gratitude, Sandberg should record three things she did well every day. For six months, Sandberg faithfully adhered to this practice, and the results were enlightening. Counting Contributions vs. Counting Blessings Adam Grant and his colleague, Jane Dutton, conducted research on the impact of gratitude versus recognizing one’s contributions. Their findings challenged the conventional wisdom that gratitude is the key to boosting confidence and effort. Rather, they discovered that counting contributions, actively acknowledging the positive actions we take, has a more significant impact. The Passive Nature of Gratitude Gratitude, while undoubtedly valuable, tends to be passive in nature. It makes us appreciative of what we receive, fostering a sense of thankfulness. However, it may not necessarily fuel our confidence or inspire greater effort. Sandberg’s experience highlights that relying solely on gratitude might not be sufficient in rebuilding one’s self-esteem. The Active Power of Contributions On the other hand, contributions are active. When we recognize and record the positive actions we take, it serves as a powerful reminder that we can make a difference. This shift in focus from receiving to contributing is transformative. It empowers individuals to see their impact on the world, reinforcing a sense of efficacy and self-worth. Building Confidence and Fostering Growth Recording daily contributions goes beyond merely patting ourselves on the back for things we did well or contributed to others. It becomes a reflective practice that encourages self-awareness and a proactive mindset. As Sandberg attests, the act of acknowledging personal achievements cultivates a positive feedback loop, boosting confidence and motivating individuals to continue making meaningful contributions. Encouraging Others to Recognize Their Achievements Inspired by her own transformative experience, Sandberg now encourages her friends and colleagues to adopt the habit of writing down what they do well. The consistent feedback from those who have embraced this practice is unanimous – they wish they had started doing it sooner. Examples of Contributions Your 3 things don’t have to be groundbreaking or earth shattering to count. It could be something like listening to a friend going through a tough time, making a nice dinner for your family, or painting your nails well! Big or small, you can count them! We are all good at things (different things!), and through this exercise you might find that you are capable of a lot more than you consciously realized. Conclusion In the journey of personal development, the power of recognizing our contributions cannot be overstated. While gratitude has its place, actively acknowledging the positive actions we take fosters a sense of confidence, purpose, and empowerment. Shifting our focus from what we receive to what we contribute can be a game-changer in building resilience and cultivating a mindset of continuous growth. So, instead of merely counting our blessings, consider beginning to count and celebrate your contributions every day.
Why You Should Write Your Own Obituary: A Reflective Writing Exercise
Reading Time: 3 minutesSomeone once told me that she writes her own obituary as a writing exercise at least once a year. At first, I was shocked. I thought this was totally strange behavior. Why would you want to come face-to-face with the idea of dying? Why would you want to make it so real through a tangible exercise like this? But this woman explained that she had no intention of dying anytime soon and instead used it as a tool for self-reflection and priority reevaluation. I was intrigued. I sat down and I tried it myself. Always a fan of writing, I found myself getting emotionally invested in the writing exercise and the story of my life. I had to really think: what parts of my life were most important? What did I want people to remember? What did I want to glaze over? Who did I want to call out as most important to me? And through this exercise, I started to piece together the parts of my life that I felt mattered — to me and to those closest to me. Summarizing my life to around 1800 words meant that things that I spent painstaking hours on became irrelevant or reduced to a sentence or two. The details of how good my grades were, what outfits I wore, or anything else mundane wouldn’t matter after I was gone. The experience was emotional – I experienced intense emotions of pride, sadness, love, and fear. All at the same time. At the end of the exercise, I had a document that summarized who I was, the life I’ve lived, and how I wanted to be remembered. I clicked “save.” I may do it again next year. And the year after that. Here’s why I think you should do it, too. In our hectic lives, pausing to contemplate your mortality through writing your own obituary can be profoundly enlightening. Though initially daunting, this exercise offers valuable insights, irrespective of age or health. Specifically, it can help you with: 1. Priority Evaluation: Writing your own obituary prompts introspection on whether your current pursuits align with your true priorities and aspirations. Sometimes in the moment, you can feel like something so small matters so much. You may realize when writing your obituary that it doesn’t. 2. Gratitude: In writing your obituary, you naturally want to write about the things you did well, the things you are proud of, the love you’ve experienced. This exercise will inevitably make you feel grateful for the more positive experiences you’ve had. Going forward, you might even start looking at life’s more fleeting moments with a different perspective. You can think to yourself, “Would this be something I’d remember when reflecting on my life?” And you may be more grateful for it. 3. Mortality Acknowledgment: Even though it’s not the point of the exercise, confronting death cultivates acceptance of the inevitable – that one day we will all die – allowing us to embrace daily life and live a more purposeful existence. 4. Self-Reflection: What was lacking from your obituary this time around? What do you wish you could’ve included? What do you hope to be able to write by next year or the year after that? This exercise serves as a catalyst for personal growth, inspiring actionable steps towards a more meaningful future. So on a rainy day, give it a try. You might be surprised how much it means to you.
Buyer Beware: Medical Devices Do Have Side Effects
Reading Time: 5 minutesThe Allure of Medical Devices Everyone knows that medications have side effects. TV ads and our doctors make sure we are aware. Unlike medications, one of the allures of medical devices is that they are often advertised as having “no side effects.” As someone with a complex chronic pain syndrome for over a decade, and who works in the chronic pain space as the founder of Override Health, you can imagine that I have tested my fair share of medical devices. I always have my eyes and ears open for new and promising innovations – for myself and for my Override patients. They Can Have Side Effects But I have found that many of these medical devices are much more dangerous than advertised. One medical device left me with permanent and non-stop tinnitus (ear ringing) in my left ear; customer service checked in on me for a couple days and then stopped calling. Another medical device left my feet numb and tingling for hours after use; I did not continue using the device to find out if continued use would’ve led to permanent numbness and tingling. Occasionally, people find out through medical device usage that they are electrically sensitive and experience various side effects related to it. Other device users might be experiencing side effects but not realize a relation to the device if it isn’t obvious. Many medical devices are well-intentioned but simply haven’t been tested sufficiently. A company once sent me a device that had a sticker on it saying: “Not tested yet on humans.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to be the first, so that one is still hanging out under my bed untouched. One Particular “Miracle” Device In April, I opened an Instagram ad for a headache device (I won’t name the name). I clicked on the website and was immediately impressed. It boasted that over 90% of users experience instant relief. It was extremely reasonably priced at $30 with a 90 day moneyback guarantee. The reviews were outstanding – things like: “Don’t question it. Just buy it” and “It works. It works. It works.” I dug into the science a little bit and was impressed that this device was not even electrically powered, as most are. It didn’t require batteries or the cable connected to the wall. The mechanism involved creating pressure through air suction in the ear canal to relieve pressure in the head. It looked like a miracle device. Why didn’t every headache sufferer in the world have one of these?, I thought. Validating the Reputation of the Device Out of curiosity, I looked up the product on https://www.amazon.com/. I sometimes do that to get a better sense of customer reviews and confirm legitimacy, as I tend to trust Amazon more than I do the direct websites. (I know that the trustworthiness of Amazon reviews is also debated.) To my surprise, the product was on Amazon and only received about 3.5 stars. Not great. I scrolled down to the one-star reviews because I was interested in potential side effects and disaster reviews. 19% of the reviews were one star reviews. That’s essentially 1in 5 users who say that the device is either worthless… or worse. Some of the reviews simply said that it was a gimmick, a waste of money, or completely unhelpful. But even scarier, I started to read review after review that said that this device that uses pressure inside of the ear actually DAMAGED EARDRUMS. If it’s shocking to you, you better believe that it was to the injured consumers as well. Many of them used capital letters just like that to express their horror as to their DAMAGED EARDRUMS. They thought they were getting headache relief and then they ended up with a worse problem. I don’t doubt that this product helps people. I do not believe that the positive reviews are bogus. But can you imagine if you were the 1 in the 1 in 5 users that gets a damaged eardrum from trying the device that was touted as an affordable, safe, miracle medical device? The Future of Medical Devices I remain optimistic about the latest advances in the pain industry, and medical devices are a big part of that. I believe that the vast majority of the people focused on pain innovation do it because they are mission driven and believe that their product or service will help people. Good intentions, however, do not cancel out harm done to real people. And not everything is as safe as it may be advertised as. The unfortunate reality is that every new medical device has to be tested first on someone (many people) before it can be deemed safe or FDA approved. To have new innovation, we have to get through a testing and tweaking process, which involves risk to early users or adopters. So that’s part of the process. But let’s at least do it with our eyes wide open. My Advice Evaluate devices just as you would evaluate pills or proposed surgeries or procedures. And start slow. If something weird happens, consider calling customer support or your doctor and discontinuing use. Don’t just push through, assuming no side effects are possible. A Quick Plug for Virtual Care like Override One of the things I love about Override Health’s virtual pain management services is the safety of what we do. Our physicians do prescribe medication (although not opioids), so of course there can be side effects of these medications. Outside of that, though, our providers (including our physical therapists) work with patients virtually, which means we don’t inject them, do surgery on them, adjust them like chiropractors or osteopaths, attempt to release trigger points, or anything else that might be painful during or afterwards – especially when done poorly. Especially our highly sensitive patients, who flare easily, do not have to subject themselves to the risk of touch or procedures gone wrong. Our patients feel safe because they are receiving care from the comfort of home where they are
